posted by MixedGill under
Meat Mate,
Restaurant Reviews at 3:19 pm on 25th
June
2010

From the keyboard of the Beard
It was an unusual wedding invite. In both format (small and covered in pink glitter) as well as function. It asked for not only acceptance, but also a restaurant review. Given that the bride is a fully committed ‘please don’t use my side of the barbie’ vegetarian I felt I should relay tales of amazing butternut squash and pinenut soufflé. Or the latest attempts of the local curry house to turn spinach and potatoes into a meal worthy of praise.

Location and an attractive front window. Two golden rules of running a successful restaurant. So a place way our east with no visible signage would almost appear bound to fail. Except this is place is doing a roaring trade. The owners have transformed the ground floor into an exceptional private dining experience.
When this critic ate there his quest was meat they providers more than rose to it.
A warm shot of chorizo juice was followed by a giant size venison scotch egg. The yolk of the egg still magically liquid. These entrees had lured their devourers into a false sense of security.
We paused momentarily while an astronaut entered the room. One song and several gyrations later our red wine vision latched onto the fact we were witnessing a rather eccentric burlesque show.
And then the kitchen opened fire. Meat cannons aimed squarely down our gullets. Lambs heart stuffed with lambs liver a delectable surprise. Succulent, flavoursome, complex and challenging. What could man not achieve after such a feast?
The ensuing 28 day blackened steak seemed positively normal in comparison. On other occasions this would have been worthy of worship in it’s own right. On this occasion it took the role of sorbet to the previous, richer courses.
Light relief was then delivered in the form of a Charlie Chaplin lookalike. Once cane and hat were removed and the music kicked those of us with our wits still intact into a moment of glorious realisation. Burlesque and a plate of full bodied English cheese.
Only one way to top that and make sure that most of the next day was spent in the gout clinic. More red wine, chocolate covered bacon. And a go in an astronaut’s suit.
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